(Sep 2014) Ezy Reading:
Wonderhussy- Las Vegas Writer, Reviewer and Model
Evan Kanarakis


Recently The Cud’s Evan Kanarakis had a chance to chat with Sarah Jane ‘Wonderhussy’ Woodall, a Las Vegas-based writer and reviewer -who also happens to work as a nude and fetish model under the name of ‘Brandi Bottoms’.

Through her blog and growing profile as a Yelp reviewer (closing in fast on some three hundred reviews), Wonderhussy shares no-nonsense, unvarnished –and often quite hilarious- accounts of her adventures and experiences both in Las Vegas and beyond. Or, as Wonderhussy herself aptly describes herself: “I roll around in a truck stocked with a breathalyser and a swizzle stick, a spare pair of panties and two stun guns. Don’t fuck with me!”


THE CUD: What came first- the writing or modeling?

WONDERHUSSY: I've always been a writer, ever since I was a kid. I couldn't start modeling til later, though, cuz society tends to look down on a kid flashing her twat.

I started modeling to make extra cash -- I had a boyfriend dump me with a bad mortgage, and I struggled with the payments. So I cast my eye about for an easy way to earn extra money, and modeling seemed to be a good fit. At first I mostly did tradeshows and promotional stuff, but I quickly realized posing nude is much easier and more lucrative -- I can make as much rolling around naked among cactus plants and rocks for two hours as I would standing around some asshole's tradeshow booth for eight hours!!!

THE CUD: And so what prompted you to become a Yelp reviewer? I gather there were swingers involved. Kinda'?...

WONDERHUSSY: I started Yelping because I had no other outlet for my writing, at the time (this was before I started my blog) -- and I loooove to write/kvetch/skewer assholes in print. One of my first Yelp reviews was for a swingers' club, and due its astonishingly well-written nature (or probably just cuz of its prurience) it got a lot of attention, including that of a local journalist who indirectly hooked me up with my first professional writing gig, at the local newspaper.

THE CUD: It makes sense that your modeling work must generate a broad mix of experiences- how did Wonderhussy blog come to be?

WONDERHUSSY: I started my blog for two reasons: I was sick and fucking tired of Facebook deleting or censoring my nude photos, and I was EXTRA sick and fucking tired of the newspaper editing and censoring my writing!!!! Though it may seem counterintuitive for Vegas, the paper out here is very conservative, run by a media group out of Little Rock, Arkansas... and they were always censoring what I could and couldn't say. For instance, once I wrote a line about this certain liqueur tasting like "the jizz of Jesus Christ, if He had eaten nothing but cinnamon toast for 40 days and 40 nights." And they censored it to read, "the jizz of a holy man." WTF!! If I can't write about the jizz of Jesus Christ, then I don't want to write at all!!!!
So I started a blog, because I wanted to be able to say WHATEVER the fuck I wanted, HOWever I wanted!!

THE CUD: What's the Yelp community like? Have you become familiar with other reviewers at 'Elite' Yelp events?

WONDERHUSSY: I am fairly familiar with the local Yelp community... I've been to a fair number of events, and know many of the other Yelpers personally. One thing I noticed: for whatever reason, the local Vegas Elites are like 90% Asian... not sure why that is.
An Elite event is basically a room full of freeloading moochers with overinflated egos. Everyone thinks they're a witty, discerning tastemaker... when in reality they're mostly a bunch of bourgeois bozos. I have little patience for the Yelp crowd, and rarely go to Elite events anymore. But I still dig the shit out of the site, and consider it an invaluable resource!! I know a lot of businesses have been talking shit about Yelp in the news lately... but I still SWEAR by it. Not only do I use it to find mechanics, dentists, etc... I have also gotten jobs from Yelp, made friends from Yelp... even dated someone I met on Yelp!! I LOVE YELP!!!!

THE CUD: Between your growing profile on Yelp and the blog, you must have had some interaction with readers and fans...

WONDERHUSSY: People email me all the time both on Yelp and my blog... oftentimes with offers to meet up. If it's a cool offer I generally accept, so I've made a lot of real-life new friends that way. But I mostly just communicate with my readers and fans online. People are always emailing me for advice/questions/tips about Vegas.... it gets pretty time-consuming, but I still answer everyone. Occasionally someone will put a tip in the PayPal tip jar on my blog to thank me, so it all works out... :-)

THE CUD: Particularly on your blog, much of your writing is deeply personal- it must be quite encouraging to receive such positive feedback on even the 'lows' that you have reported on, at times...? Do you ever worry about having 'overshared'?

WONDERHUSSY: There is no such word as "oversharing" in my vocab!! My motto is "RADICAL TRANSPARENCY:" I share everything; no secrets = nothing to hide. Why would I want to hide anything? I find that writing about my most painful personal stuff is the best therapy -- I feel SO MUCH BETTER after having blabbed to the world about my worst heartaches! It really is like having a huge support network... even though I do get the occasional hater who rips me a new one.

THE CUD: The Yelp community 'self censor' in a way, right? What are some of the experiences you've had with 'editing', be it from other users or prompted by 'spurned' businesses?

WONDERHUSSY: I've gotten thank-you messages from business owners whose businesses I have positively reviewed.... but oddly, none of the ones I ripped into have contacted me directly. I have, however, had negative reviews flagged & removed... which makes me suspicious that Yelp IS in cahoots with certain businesses who advertise with them.

For instance, my semi-negative review of the Artisan Hotel mysteriously disappeared. And my Terry Fator interview was censored, but just the part where I mentioned "little Timmy the Cancer Kid sucking horsecock under the watchful eye of Jebus for all eternity." I guess Yelp allows obscenity/colorful language...up to a certain point. And that point is apparently 'horsecock'...

My review of Caesars Palace's Old Homestead Steakhouse was also removed. I had a terrible dining experience there, so in my review I expressed my wish that someone would shit in their meat locker, all the diners would get E.coli, and the place would be sued into oblivion. At the time, I myself worked as a contractor at Caesars Palace... and my employer called me in to ask me to remove the review, as it might jeopardize their operations at Caesars. They admitted that they couldn't legally force me to remove the review... but they asked verrry sweetly. Against my wishes, I complied -- I felt they might find another reason to fire me, if I didn't (Nevada is an At-Will Employment state... meaning an employer can fire you anytime, for any reason).

But I hated that fuckin' job, so I quit a few months later.... and the first thing I did was post that review back up. And... guess what? It was mysteriously removed anyway, shortly thereafter. Maybe because I mentioned E.coli?? Or was it because Old Homestead pays to advertise with Yelp???? Hmmmmmmm!!!!! Either way.... DON'T GO TO OLD HOMESTEAD STEAKHOUSE AT CAESARS PALACE!!! IT SUCKS ASS!

THE CUD: What makes a good review for you?

WONDERHUSSY: Humor is the most important thing -- a bad review that just complains about service, etc. isn't fun to read. You have to have a sense of humor about it! An example is my review of the Clark County Jail -- OBVIOUSLY it's a shitty place, but you can't just write that or no one will read it. So I was humorous in my review, and it got a ton of action.

THE CUD: Your modeling work is very much based in Vegas but it takes you on the road at times as well- this must lend itself to some of the 'further afield' reviews you've written for Yelp...

WONDERHUSSY: I make it a point to review EVERY SINGLE business I patronize on the road. Why? Well, not to maintain my Elite status -- as previously mentioned, I don't give two shits about going to those Elite parties. I am an avid Yelper simply because I find Yelp to be such an invaluable resource, I want to keep it going! What's a crowdsourced site without a crowd to source it?!?!?!

When I'm traveling, I use Yelp for everything -- to find motels, restaurants, windshield repair shops, etc. So I like to give back!

THE CUD: Anything you won't review or go out of your way to review?

WONDERHUSSY: The only thing I won't review is a business owned by a friend -- then I'd feel obligated to write a positive review, even if the service or product sucked. I really value my integrity, in Yelp as in the rest of life -- I don't like to lie or blow smoke up people's asses! So there have been a few times when friends have invited me to their shows in Vegas, in the hopes that I would write a good review. Sorry, guys -- I'll take your free tickets, but I'm not reviewing it!!!

I also feel bad about giving a bad review to a place I didn't like, if a Yelp-reading friend was the one to take me there. It's nothing personal, but still feels awkward. So I will try to weasel out of that too, by pretending I "forgot" to review it or something like that.

THE CUD: Last of all, anything on the 'holy grail' bucket list that you're yet to review? And any news of note coming up in both your writing and modeling work?

WONDERHUSSY: My bucketlist is NEVERENDING -- I will never get to the end! I'd like to review every hotel, restaurant, cafe, food stand, hostel, WHATEVER in the entire world!!! I love to travel, and it's my dream to someday figure out a way to make money doing it. Toward that end, a photographer friend and I are currently pitching a Nevada roadtrip to some local magazines: we want to travel around the entire state of Nevada, going to every weird little mining town and abandoned brothel, and write about it/photograph it. No one ever goes anywhere in Nevada other than Reno and Vegas... and there are a TON of weird, funky little towns in between!

If no reputable magazine will pay us to do it, I'm planning to fund it myself, via Kickstarter. In that case, I'll change it to "Naked in Nevada -- Help Me Take Nude Photos in Every Town in Nevada" or something similarly titillating. I know my audience!! Once I get the necessary funds, I can blog about it as I go.


Wonderhussy on YELP                    Wonderhussy's BLOG


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