Ezy Reading: 20 Questions by a Boston Taxi Interrogator-

Evan Kanarakis

2am, Tuesday, May 11, 2010

1) Boston Taxi Murph- Where to?

E.K- Somerville, please... Washington Street.

2) Boston Taxi Guy Murph- So whatcha’ been doing tonight? You didn’t find yourself any hot Allston college girl ass?

E.K- Um… I was over at Great Scott to see a band. Some friends in from outta’ town.

3) Boston Taxi Guy Murph- You don’t say… Me, I don’t go much for that fuckin’ rap music. Is that what they had on? Like that shit up at Kells? They got it goin’ at very fuckin’ club these days…

E.K- No, it’s a rock club. Was a band from Australia. Was great.

4) Boston Taxi Guy Murph- I was gonna’ say I thought I detected an accent but thought you was a fuckin’ Brit. So you Australian or a fuckin’ Kiwi? You hate those fuckin’ guys, am I right?

E.K- Yeah, I’m an Aussie… Wouldn’t really say we hate each other though... That’s probably a touch strong. Pretty heated sports rivals, I guess. Other than that though, there’s nothing really going on…

5) Boston Taxi Guy Murph- So Australia, huh? Ya know I always wanted to get over there… One day…

E.K- You should. It’s a good neck of the woods… Long plane ride but once you get past that you’re all good.

6) Boston Taxi Guy Murph- Bet you see kangaroos and shit all the time then, huh?

E.K- In the country, sure.

7) Boston Taxi Guy Murph- You don’t say... A fuckin’ Aussie, huh?... You said Somerville, right? Washington Street?

E.K- Yup.

8) Boston Taxi Guy Murph- We’ll take McGrath then… So you know Russell Crowe?

E.K- Nah mate, don’t know him…

9) Boston Taxi Guy Murph- Always thought he looked like a fuckin’ asshole. Is he an asshole?

E.K- Um… I’ve never actually met him before.

10) Boston Taxi Guy Murph- You know Mel Gibson? He’s Aussie, right?

E.K- Yeah, I guess he was born in the U.S but grew up in Oz.

11) Boston Taxi Guy Murph- Howzabout that fuckin’ Hugh Jackman guy? You know him?

E.K- Never met him either mate, sorry… It’s a pretty big place, really-

12) Boston Taxi Guy Murph- So tell me then… What the fuck is wrong with us American guys we can’t get a fuckin’ local to play a hero in the movies? Every fucking movie I see it’s another fuckin’ Australian playin’ the hero...

E.K- Gee mate, I don’t know, I-

13) Boston Taxi Guy Murph- You got that fuckin’ Avatar guy- he’s one of yours, right?

E.K- Right.

14) Boston Taxi Guy Murph- And that guy who played the Joker, he was Australian… Heath Ledger… And I think even the fuckin’ Batman is Australian, isn’t he?

E.K- Christian Bale? No, he’s English.

15) Boston Taxi Guy Murph- Nah, he’s a fuckin’ Australian. You sure?

E.K- Um… Yeah, I’m pretty sure.

16) Boston Taxi Guy Murph- I think you’re wrong, guy… I heard him talk and… well anyway, who the fuck knows. Australian, English- you guys all sound the same anyway, am I right?

E.K- Ha… Kinda’ like you and Canadians I guess, huh?

17) Boston Taxi Guy Murph- What did you say? Hey don’t even think about goin’ there, my friend!… I’m one hundred fucking percent Italian and the other half is Irish on my mother’s side. I’m Dorchester through and through, baby! No fucking Canadian is drivin’ this taxi, you got me?

E.K- No worries. I was only ribbing ya…

18) Boston Taxi Guy Murph- Yeah well you don’t kid with a kid from Dorchester, you should know that…

E.K- Not a problem… This is me just up here on the right.

19) Boston Taxi Guy Murph- That’ll be an even $22. Hey, it was good meetin’ ya- no hard feelings, right? You fuckin’ Aussie guys, you’re always good peoples. Just stay the fuck outta’ Hollywood a while, yeah? Maybe I could be the next Avatar. Waddaya think?

E.K- You never know right? It’s the American Dream.

20) Boston Taxi Guy Murph- You better fuckin’ believe it. Hey… My name is Murph. And you?

E.K- I’m Evan. Have a good night mate.


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