Gemini- You must be a lot of hard work, chill the fuck out.
Cancer- Whatever you do, do it sideways.
Leo- Let everyone else do the hard work and just come in for the spoils.
Virgo- Don’t give it up too easy.
Libra- Weigh up the options and make sure to get the best deal ;)
Scorpio- Use the fire in your tail with temperance.

Sagittarius- Take aim, pee with the lid down. Ladies, try standing.
Capricorn- Everyone is unique you’re just next level. Don’t be afraid to show the world.
Aquarius- You always get the first round. Let someone else shout.
Pisces- Some like you raw, others cooked. Be who you are, you’re good either way.
Aries- Alcohol has become a synonym for isolation.
Taurus- Offer people your horn and if that doesn’t work give them shit.

Lazy Eye is featured in The Cud every month. Follow him on instagram HERE.
Aries, the ram. Your obedience is endearing. Fuck ‘the man’ and stand out from the crowd.