On September 16th one year will have passed since I finally succeeded at quitting smoking.

Since this was my seventh attempt, it is an anniversary I am particularly proud of. Although this hurdle was very difficult to overcome, it was made a bit easier when I viewed it in practical terms. Since I was successful this time I feel obligated to share my thinking with others. Maybe hearing what I have to say will prompt others to quit, and learn to enjoy life without smoking.

Why did I begin the habit in the first place? It was ultimately my choice to begin smoking. I chose to emulate this aspect of my father's life because he smoked, and he was like a God to me. He was so strong, and appeared so healthy despite his smoking. I felt that if he could smoke and be healthy, then probably everything I've heard about the habit didn't apply to us because we were tough guys, we were invincible. In fact, cigarette smoking was a badge of toughness that I displayed from my teenaged years, into my adulthood in the military. I soon found I wasn't alone in my thinking and participated in many 'breaks' where I found camaraderie amongst other smokers.

I had a feeling back then that I might someday be sorry for my foolish thinking, but I was a rebel and wasn't going to be scared into quitting. In fact, I would actually scoff at those who tried to warn me about the dangers of the habit, and I would do foolish things. I would look at them with a mischievous smile and pop two cigarettes into my mouth lighting them both at once. Or I would chain smoke on purpose just to illustrate the strength of my conviction to smoke. In a nut-shell, I refused to consider my mortality.

Another reason I smoked was for an emotional crutch. They seemed to be a necessary tool in my coping with everyday stresses. If I had an argument and I was angry, I smoked a lot. If I was involved in a car accident, I smoked even more. I smoked more when I felt nervous. I'd frequently go outside and smoke prior to seeing the doctor or dentist. When I was lonely, I would smoke. When I was in the hospital and barely able to walk, I would painfully, and stubbornly hobble from the fourth floor all the way to the smoke shelter outside which was located about a block away. Shamefully, to feed my nicotine hunger, I'd make this trip at least twelve times everyday.

I didn't only need negative events to prompt me to light up. As a matter of fact I had an abundance of good reasons to do so. I had to have a cigarette after any meal, before bed, whenever I had a cup of coffee, the smoke-break at work, every time I got in the car, and even when I went to the bathroom. Now that I think about it. I must say I didn't really need a reason to smoke at all. I simply lit up whenever I had the chance. This just goes to show how powerful this addiction is.

My reasons for quitting are many. I began thinking about how I took my health for granted all these years. How could I expect to remain healthy and vital if I was slowly poisoning myself. I began to see that my smoking was akin to self-mutilation. The only difference was the fact that I couldn't readily see the damage I was causing myself, making it easy for me to pretend that I wasn't hurting myself at all.

Another reason I quit smoking was that it got to the point that every night when I tried to go to sleep, the wheezing my lungs were doing kept me awake. Then, in the mornings I coughed and hacked as if I were trying to regurgitate a piano. Although this was painful, and I would cough to the point of loosing my voice, I was more concerned with having my wife seeing me cough like that than I was that I was killing myself! To that end, I was embarrassed that I didn't seem to be the tough guy I always thought I was.

Quitting also became a question of economics. Aside from making someone else rich by spending between $150 and $180 per month to kill myself, I was having to subtract that money from my family’s budget. This was very difficult during a time when I was ill, and my income ceased to exist. During this time my family needed every dollar we had just to keep essentials, but selfishly I was quite literally burning many of those much needed dollars just to feed my habit.

Am I glad that I quit? You’d better believe it! Since I quit, I have been surprised at how much better my sense of smell is. I can also taste things much more strongly. I only thought I liked Chinese food before, and now that I've quit, all food tastes much brighter and better. Also, when I went to an all-night diner that I regularly frequent, I couldn't drink their coffee anymore
because now that my taste buds were working, I discovered that it tasted really nasty!

I am also breathing much easier. In fact, this is a benefit I felt only a few weeks after I quit. In addition, since I quit, I have not yet woke up coughing and hacking. I am not saying that I am back to my pre-smoking health, but I am much better off now than I would be if I had continued to smoke throughout the past year.

Now that I have discontinued my smoking habit, I find that the smell of cigarette smoke revolts me. I find that I no longer wish to breath even second hand smoke. I try to convince people that quitting would be the best thing they could ever do for themselves, but they seem to think as I had in the past. I point out to them the things I have been able to buy myself since I no longer have that expense: a new computer, scanner, CD player and more. I enjoy spending my money on things other than cigarettes, and I now scoff at the cigarette companies rather than concerned friends.

Smoking is a habit that is akin to self mutilation, and is something that every smoker should rethink. It may be a habit that seems all too powerful to overcome, and they may think they actually like to do it, but I submit that on some level, every smoker wishes they could quit. I also submit that smokers are ultimately in charge of all their limbs, hands, and fingers. They can quit if they want, they can simply cease to light up again. I speak from experience; that's how I quit.