As a child I was placid, obedient and responsible, I respected my elders and any form of authority, never talked back to my parents and certainly never got in trouble from my teachers. The most traumatic experience I had in primary school was in grade three, when I got pulled out of line while walking up the stairs for talking. Though wrongfully accused, the smirks of the other passing children and my tears discreetly seeping into my jacket sleeve remain forever etched in my mind. The culprit who pointed me out was a grade six boy named Oliver who had a black, spiky mullet. Yet, I have discovered that my five year old triplet daughters, my flesh and blood, are my antithesis. They are sneaky, stubborn and demanding. They laugh in the face of authority and are not swayed by bribery, rewards or threats. If it had been my offspring that had got called out of that line, I have no doubt they would have not only laughed in Oliver’s face, but probably made fun of his hair and also tripped him over.

How to relate to my offspring? How to understand their behavior? These are my constant struggles. Whether it is tapping all the dancers on their feet while they are practising their demi-points in ballet class, running away from their coach in gymnastics, splashing the other kids during swimming or playing tug-o-war with their Gi belts at Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, our offspring are consistently acting out. The question is, where do I turn when after a long lecture about the implications of stabbing another child with a pencil the response to my question “Are you going to be a good girl from now on?” is simply met with "Ummm.... I just don't think so." How do I understand the reply to "Now, you be good at school, today," being "I'll try my best," when this actually means "I make no guarantees regarding good behaviour.” In my search for answers, I turned to the correspondence about the offspring with my husband.

4/06/14
Me: They are so badly behaved @ BJJ. I'm absolutely mortified
Hubby: It's meant to teach them discipline
Me: They are laughing in the face of discipline
Hubby: Let the teacher know to sit them out
Me: I did!!! He's too soft
Hubby: He is a world champion at killing people with his bare hands!!!
Me: Yep. Not even he can handle our triplets...  Makes you wonder how I do it
Hubby: With chocolate and the fear of insects

The truth of the matter is, consequences are irrelevant when you always have someone backing you up even when you are misbehaving.
26/02/14
I put Katerina to bed in the spare room.
Katerina: Mum, I want to go to my own bed!
Me: No. Go to sleep and I'll take you to your bed.
*30 seconds later*
Katerina: Mum!! I'm asleep! I'm already asleeeeep!
Me: No you're not! You're talking.
Katerina: I have my eyes closed. I'm sleeping.
Me: No, you're not.
Irini: (from the other room): Mum, she IS asleep. She's talk sleeping. It's very fun. You should do it.

Perhaps our offspring are just competitive, so they simply need to act out in order to be seen as an individual.
22/04/14
Katerina: Here's the lid, mummy. I'm really good at finding things.
Irini: And I'm really good at taking things out.
Evangelia: And I'm really good at sniffing things.

Maybe, they have too many possessions, so they grow up with a sense of entitlement and little appreciation.
14/03/14
Me: Evangelia, what do you want for a present for your name day?
Evangelia: I want you to build a big beach in our backyard with a swimming pool and sand. Turkleton [the dog] will love to play in the sand. And I want to live on the beach, not here.

It is possible that they secretly know they have all the power.
4/04/14
Me: Which one of these unicorns do I get?
Hubby: They all look great
Me: Yeah but I don't think they'll be happy with them. I think they have a particular unicorn in mind. I'm pretty sure they'll flip out on me like the time I bought Katerina a monster and it wasn't the blue fluffy one with one eye like from the movie.
Hubby: Just read that last message back to yourself, you're the adult you should be in charge.
Me: You obviously haven't met our girls.

It might be that they are not disciplined enough… or in the right way.
10/09/13
Me: The kids have been unbearable all day. From beginning to end. And it's not even the end yet.
Hubby: Hose them down.

5/04/13
Me: Kids are driving me nuts.
Hubby: Let them jump on the trampoline naked.
Me: That's your answer to everything.
Hubby: It works for everything,

9/10/13
Me: Kids are extra hyper, extra cheeky, extra moody and extra driving me nuts today.
Hubby: Bribe them with ice cream.

19/11/13
Hubby: Tell them that if they go to bed Pattapoff [an imaginary dog] will come and play in the morning.
Me:  Yeah right. I'm not dealing with that tantrum in the morning.
Me:  I threatened them with sleeping outside with the Mosquitos.
Me: Three minutes of silence so far.

12/04/14
I asked Katerina to put the pink chair away and she was like "I wasn't sitting on it"and I was like "Yes you were" and she was like "No I wasn't" and I was like "Bam! Is this a photo of you sitting on the pink chair?" and she was like "But how did you take that photo?! I didn't even see you?!" And I was like "That’s right."

Or maybe, they are given too much power so they think they have a parental level of decision-making authority and hence feel they have a right to demand, insist, question and debate.
5/06/14
I argued with Katerina to get back behind the invisible line to watch TV. She informed me that she makes her own invisible lines.

Or perhaps, it all just comes down to character.
Me: I'm so glad you girls are all cleaning up together! Do you know what it's called when you work together to get something done?
Offspring: What?
Me: Cooperation.
Katerina: Oh yes! Mummy, I'm going to win this cooperation!!

I suppose, there is an upside of having sneaky offspring. That is, you get children that are thinkers.
24/03/14
Evangelia's water bottle fell in the gutter when I was picking them up from kindy. Irini told me we should buy square water bottles so that they don't roll.

You get children that are creative.
6/11/13
Evangelia was “playing” a song on the piano and when she finished she said "that was a song about a fairy that loved a bear and she lost another bear because it was afraid of the big fairy and it got lost in the woods."

And inventive.
26/04/14
Katerina: when I want to stop my bike it doesn't listen to me. I wish my bike had ears and feet so it could stop itself. And I really wish I could fly. I wish we didn't have gravity.

6/06/14
Evangelia is arranging buttons on fabric.
Me: What are you making?
Evangelia: A flower flabergen.
Me: What's a flower flabergen?
Evangelia: It's a special floor that robots can stand on.

Sneaky children are resourceful.
2/05/14
Evangelia: (knocking on bedroom door.) Kana! Let me in!
Katerina: I'm not in here! I'm in the living room!
Evangelia: But I checked there and you weren't there.
Katerina: Ummm... I'm outside!
Evangelia: No, I checked there too and you weren't there!
Katerina: Ummm... I'm invisible!
Evangelia: No, you're not invisible.
Katerina: Yes I am. You can't see me.
Evangelia: (knocks on the door again and in a different voice): open the door Kana, it's me, Yiayia and I have lots of chocolates and sweet treats!!
Katerina: (opens the door) Yiayia!! Come in!!
Evangelia: I'm not Yiayia. I was just tricking you. And I told you you're not invisible.

They are imaginative.
2/10/14
Evangelia: Mum, can you keep a ghost as a pet?
Me: Well... I suppose, if you can catch one.
Evangelia: Oh. But can you catch one?
Katerina: In Bear World you can. In Bear World there are places that are always dark. And the ghosts run around and they eat worms and a little bit of people's hair.

And resilient.
26/03/14
Irini: Mummy, look Evangelia ripped the tail off my kitty toy.
Me: Oh... Well leave it there and I'll try gluing it back on.
Irini: That's ok, I'll just pretend that this is a wild cat. Wild cats don't have tails because they get ripped off when they fight with other cats.

Although they make their own rules, at least they are communicative.
3/10/14
Dear Daddy, I hurt myself at the bike park today. I fell over. I wasn't on the bike, I was running and I fell over. Now I have a scrape and  bleeding. But I don't have a bandaid. Please give me lots of cuddles when you get home. Also please never get the dark chocolate sprinkles ever again because they are yucky. You should always get the right ones.
Love, Irini.

And they can even be philosophical.
23/06/14
Evangelia: Phones don't know any words but they are very clever.

15/02/15
Evangelia: Mummy, you know, a hug can solve any problem.

25/02/15
Evangelia: Mummy, this is a good pencil. But I broke it a little bit. But it doesn’t matter. Because it’s just a pencil. It’s not our life.

If nothing else, there is definitely an understanding that children look at the world from a different perspective.
7/05/13
Evangelia: Mummy, why did Merida's mummy throw her bow in the fire?
Me: Because she was angry with Merida.
Evangelia: Why?
Me: Because Merida doesn't want to get married.
Evangelia: Why doesn't Merida want to get married?
Me: Because she wants to be free to ride her horse and do archery and go exploring.
Evangelia: But mummy, why doesn't Merida get married and still go riding on her horse?

So, after long deliberations, discussions, research and analysis I think I have found the answer to everything. I have figured out WHY my offspring, and perhaps many like them, do the things they do. And here it is:
Me: “Girls! WHY did you throw the flour ALL OVER the floor after I just told you NOT to touch it and I would be back in ONE SECOND because all I had to do was wash my hands?? WHY?!?!?!”
Offspring: Because it looked fun.

Born in Skopje, Macedonia, Daniela Ifandoudas is a high school teacher and mother of triplet daughters living in Sydney Australia. When not preoccupied with crowd control, chauffeur duties and keeping up with her offspring’s ridiculously busy social schedule, she makes time to write and spend time with her loving husband Peter... mostly strategising over the best way to tackle crowd control, chauffeur duties and offspring’s social schedule.