One thing that the latest Wikileaks installment makes crystal clear is the breathtaking brilliance of U.S diplomacy. It appears that its practitioners have become grandmasters of the ‘let’s throw it against the wall and see if anything sticks’ school of political analysis first expounded by that quintessential theorist of England’s Golden Age of Imperialism Colonel Blimp- from those happy days when Britannia Ruled the Caves.

Having ‘contained’ Russia, the world’s biggest country, with a stock of nukes equal to our own, we have now turned to ‘encircling’ China, the world’s most populous, with its vast resources of tea, both black and green. India, Taiwan, Japan, Vietnam (?)- many dominoes have already fallen our way. Falun Gong may have been lost, but the Dalai Lama’s TV interviews point the way forward: be wary of the Chinese monolith!

And now Korea is on the agenda- again. We refuse to ‘negotiate’ with them on a six-power basis, that number ‘6’ of course, has had Biblical vibes, and appearances indicate there are many Fundamentalist college grads in both State and the Pentagon. It figures, but the fact remains that Koreans at all points of the compass –having experienced the brutalities of the megalomaniac MacArthur’s scorched earth policies- fear us more than the devil himself. But the Wikidips have the perfect solution: let’s give North Korea to China, and tell them they can mine stuff there!

However, a minor problem remains: those wily Chinese may not want forty, fifty or sixty thousand G.I Joes right smack on their border. They can be a bit touchy about things like that. But are the Korean-speakers at State –all 2 ½ of them- up to the challenge? A half? Don’t you remember, it’s that expert at Harvard who studies Korean fingernail configurations –the one with the fat professorship that the department funds.

What to do? That’s an easy one – bribe the Chinese! It works everywhere else, doesn’t it?

Yes, but we may be running short of cash… No problem- we’ll borrow more from the Chinese!

Right on!

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