Baseball caps, baggy trousers, dodgy facial hair, other social stereotypes and confirmation that the average person does not listen to any new music beyond the age of 28 are the recurring themes of my most recent trip into the North American music scene.

I am reasonably confident that I can now guess the style of music that is about to be performed by an artist, not by listening to the pre'gig rev up music or having any knowledge of who is actually playing, but merely by observing the hilarity that is, us, the fan base, the kids that love to rock.

Different gigs different ratios.

Take for example the ratio of white people to baggy trousers/baseball caps = Beastie Boys.

Or expanding waistlines to mullets = Cheap Trick.

Or designer clothes worn messy to English accents = Muse.

Or irritating females from Melbourne scratching on about drinking VB, AND watching AFL, AND the Falls, AND things being SOOOO COOL, whilst managing new levels of sycophancy "Oh I have seen this guy 13 times" to white people with dreadlocks or people who look like they need a shower = John Butler Trio.

Or smoking hot Latino women with huge American football boyfriends to well dressed white people trying to dance = Prince.

Oh I could go on but let's get to the real issue. The music. Who delivered and who is bored and washed out?

Talk about funky! Prince is a tremendous performer and a smart one too. His gig at the HP Pavilion in San Jose was outstanding. Performing in the round with an absolutely red'hot band, Prince managed to win the crowd over with the material from his new album, Musicology, whilst not selling himself out by over'playing Purple Rain. It is no easy task for any performer who has a made some big tunes to successfully introduce new songs to an unknowing victim audience. There's the danger of the performer encountering the Age of 28 Rule. This is the rule that dictates that the average punter stops listening to new music after the age of 28. You are stuck listening, knowing all the words etc of the songs and bands you listened to when you where 12'28.

It's the Age of 28 Rule that is talking when you overhear a fellow punter whining after a gig "Oh, I'm spewing they didn't play such and such..." or "Why didn't they play more off the first album?" Didn't Regurgitator sum it up well ' I like your old stuff better than your new stuff!

Well, Prince, ever the progressive artist, struck a masterful balance. Ripping out huge funk tunes, with monster grooves (and featuring, naturally, two schmoking'hot females muso's' a sax player and a bass player) and then placating the ever hungry Rule of 28 with an entertaining solo acoustic medley of four of his classics, Cream, Red Corvette, Raspberry Beret and Kiss. I have never been a fan of costume changes, a little too much Barbara for me, but this guy has flair. The crowd loved it when he opened up the stage for a dance'off, and for all you short guys out there who look like you should be selling kebabs at that servo near the Bridge Hotel in Balmain, don't fret. Whack on some Cuban heels; don a velvet suit and, strangely enough, six'foot blonde chicks with huge cans will soon be throwing them at you. Weird, I know.

Oh, and I can confirm that Prince performed the entire show in women's underwear.

By accident I fell into a Cheap Trick fundraising show in Chicago. Now talk about Middle America. Maybe it should be mid section! The guys were big and the hair on the girls even bigger. As I stood there pondering Cheap Trick I immediately thought of *Wendell Sailor. Had some big hits but doesn't really play that much anymore.

It was your standard 'we are old' gig. The lead singer, who has an amazing set of lungs and still sports the long blonde rock star hairdo, was completely disinterested. The only energy onstage was provided by the lead guitarist who ran around with the glee of school kid in a playground on a windy day, changing his guitar for every song (including the famous five'neck guitar) and throwing about two'thousand guitar picks into the audience.

The gig did take an interesting turn when Billy Corgan of Smashing Pumpkins fame was summoned from backstage to perform a couple of songs. This interesting turn soon straightened itself out with the realization that Billy should stick to Smashing Pumpkin tunes and not B'side tracks from Cheap Trick.

The Beastie Boys are my AC/DC of white'man, primarily non'guitar based rock. I don't want to say rap or hip'hop as I feel it restricts what these guys are capable of. They do what they do. They do it well. They don't change for anybody, and their music videos are always amusing. Their gig was hot on the heels of new album The 5 Boroughs and it was a tremendous show. Like Prince these guys know how to excite the crowd and bring you along for a good night out. Reunited with Mix Master Mike the boys laid out a varied and entertaining ninety'minute set. Unfortunately for the BB's I felt that the crowd was starting to slip into the Rule of 28. What does this mean? Well, it makes a gig turn into a "Greatest Hits" show. Don't get me wrong, this still makes for a cracking night but it does make you yearn for something new.

Well, I have discovered that 'something new' in Lyrics Born. It is beyond good when you get to enjoy the experience of being jammed into a room with two'hundred other excited punters, there's only one bar operating, there's no flashing light show, just a DJ in a box entertaining the crowd. Onstage, a couple of genuine local acts performing their best songs in front of the biggest crowd they will ever play to, AND they actually have a couple of sweet, sweet songs to show for before the main act comes on and rips it. Little Lyrics Born, so very happy to be there, delivers a smashing array of vocal talent against delicious beats with an outrageously talented female vocalist wailing in the back corner! Now that is what live music is all about. Check him out. Yeah, it is hip hop and if that is not your bag then you probably will want to give it a miss, but I am telling you it is the best you'll get this year from an often over'commercialized and abused genre that is worth sticking with. Amen.

A few other mentionables...

Snoop Dog. Hilarious. This guy is actually like the character he plays in Starsky and Hutch. It was a couple of DJ's and a band running around a stage that looked like a war zone, ripping out all the cliché's in the process. Priceless.

Korn. I apologize. I enjoy seeing this band live. A seven'string guitar'playing duo, big bass and drums, and massive metal style grooves. This show was punctuated with a traditional interpretation of Pink Floyd's The Wall and the 80's classic Word Up. The traditional interpretation demonstrated that Dave Gilmore of Pink Floyd is a classically smooth guitar soloist, and neither Korn player was really capable of reproducing his efforts. The band's take on Word Up, however, did expose the vocal talents of lead singer Jonathan Davis, who transported himself back in time to well and truly BE, for four and a half minutes, the legend that is Cameo.

Linkin Park. Snotty nosed, preppy, prepubescent looking twenty something's. They really work that 'I'm probably thirty'six years old but can do the Ralph Macchio/Michael J Fox I look seventeen years old' trick. These guys understand the technology of the modern music industry and are obviously talented, but for mine it was all a bit too formula and yelling. Leave it for your kid sister.

John Butler needs a shower but this guy is a national treasure. His talent is inspiring at worst and at best, mesmerizing. And he works hard. Seemingly on tour all year he does not have the luxury of big venues and massive commercial success. The audience was full of die'hard fans and aside from the aforementioned irritating backpacker stereotypes they are a good bunch, even if they could do with a few hygiene tips. It has been said that black people with dreadlocks look "cool" and white people with dreadlocks look like "homeless people". My advice? If Caucasian ' wash it, cut it.

English band, Muse, is the real deal. These guys are big. Making it big. Big vocals, big sound, big like Holmes big. Really big. The vocals are a combination of Thom York of Radiohead fame with smatterings of Jeff Buckley and the power of a Freddie Mercury. Certainly a band on fire and they have been for several years now. The single Hysteria brought the house down. It has everything a young lad wants in his rock ' massive riffage, a sing'along chorus, a hum along melody, and, lest we forget, an anguished lyrical style that is all about the rock. A tremendous band to whack under the tree this Xmas.

And with that, I again encourage you to fight the Rule of 28. Love your old stuff but embrace the new stuff and get out and see some live and local music in '05.