Your Mockroscope For The Month

Lazy Eye

Gemini – Cedric the entertainer, Tyler the creator. Spend some solid time figuring out what 'the' you are. Then ask, “Am I being a dick or is this just external confidence?”

Cancer – The key to a successful marriage is shift work.

Leo – Need to be noticed more? Claim to be the first person to put handle bars backwards on a racer. You'll be the hit of every social gathering for the next year.

Virgo – Why does beer taste better when your keys are in your pocket? Write a story line for the hit television show, The X Files, using this question as the major plot line. Help modern society shed light on this unanswered phenomenon.

Libra – If you could be granted one wish, how long would it take to make your decision?

Scorpio – Something to ponder, if a homeless person has a dog, is the dog considered domestic or wild?

Sagittarius – Self-indulgence is gaining momentum in modern society. Moderate your self-indulgence by meditating on this notion, “If you had to live with a disability for 1 year, which would it be?” Confront this answer and you’ll find out your true humility.

Capricorn – The secret to effective parenting is... your baby is your baby, your child needs to be a child, your teenager will only ever be a teenager and a parent needs to remember.

Aquarius – Public speaking is a fear for most of us. Next time you have to speak publicly, remember everyone in the room has had diarrhoea at least twice in their life.

Pisces – Worried about promoting your next big event? Remember, a porn site has never had a soft launch.

Aries – Typos are a useful way to see if people are paying attention to your writing. Use typos in your work during pacific situations.

Taurus – If a picture says 1000 words, how much are baked goods worth?