Your Mockroscope For The Month

Lazy Eye

 

Virgo – Help society and conduct a study on footpath separation anxiety. Why do people need to walk three or four abreast on the footpath?

Libra – You’re in the right frame of mind to be more cerebral. Ponder on this: the less barbaric we become, the less common courtesy we have. Does this mean the UFC is making the world a better place? Why not fight someone (legally, of course) and see if you become more courteous.

Scorpio – Science is coming into your stars this month. Start a countdown of the days until Halley’s Comet returns. Spark interest in the celestial ball of dust for the next two to three generations of kids.

Sagittarius – Think on a higher plane. Don't do that fun run for charity, simply collect money and run around the block a few times. Then do a weekend meditation on altruism.

Capricorn – Creating internal serenity will be important this month. Eat with your knife and fork in your opposite hands. It will stimulate the opposite hemispheres of your brain akin to alternate nostril breathing exercises.

Aquarius – Finances need to be you focus this month. Why not write a story about a boy wizard whose parents are killed by an evil wizard and he has to live with non-wizard family only to be sent off to wizard boarding school where he makes heaps of BFF’s, goes on amazing adventures and saves the world. But before you do, just check it hasn't already been done.  

Pisces – Perseverance is vital for you at the moment, especially if balding. Don't cut your hair short. It says to the world, "I've given up!"

Aries – You’ll need to face some hard questions this month. Let me start you off: If alcohol is the devil’s tool and a good tradesman never blames their tools, where does this leave you?

Taurus – Community is big for you. The next time you see money in the street (any amount) pick it up. Do this for a year and see how much you collect. At the end of the year donate it to a charity. Better still, ask ten to fourteen friends to do the same. Together you can "change the world.”

Gemini – Stop allowing people to invade your personal space. If you’re upset about U2 uploading their album to your music device without prior warning, do something about it and delete the damn album.

Cancer – Create greater inner peace this month and ponder this: “There's no such thing as common sense!” This will help with your road rage.

Leo – Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. Tell your enemies to stop and smell the roses. Most roses are grown in manure.
 

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