The Cud's Recommended Reading List 2005:

OJ Pennington and Evan Kanarakis

10 Modern Classics for Literature Snobs

The Scarlet Letter ' Nathaniel Hawthorne ' Hester Prynne, the saucy harlot, is condemned to wear a red letter 'A' on her breast wherever she goes in Puritan era New England as a mark of her adultery. Yes, this is essentially pure soap opera, but there's a creepy, Gothic atmosphere at work here that separates it from the competition.

The Fall of the House of Usher ' Edgar Allen Poe ' And speaking of creepy, Gothic atmosphere, it doesn't get much better than this tale of our Narrator visiting his troubled boyhood friend Roderick Usher in an eerie English manor. The horrific climax will send you hiding under the sheets.

100 Years of Solitude ' Gabriel Garcia Marquez ' Tells the tale of how the Buendia family and the small town of Macondo find a place in the world. Magical Realism at its best. For extra mileage with culturally aware ladies, combine with Love in the Time of Cholera and a popular backpacking destination.

The Great Gatsby ' F Scott Fitzgerald ' We didn't really read this properly at school when we should have, but have re-read it many times since with enthusiasm. Gatsby is the Robbie Williams of the '20s ' guys want to be him and girls want to be with him. Likening Castle Hill to West Egg will bring the house down at old money soirees.

Ulysses ' James Joyce ' No-one has actually read this book in its entirety, but it is still fun to pretend. If you can throw in references from Homer's Odyssey when discussing June 16th you get extra brownie points.

The Grapes of Wrath ' John Steinbeck ' Felled by the Depression, the Joad family head west to California in hope of better times. Ha! Perhaps not the best choice of book to pick up if you're looking for something 'light and breezy'.

Crime and Punishment ' Fyodor Dostoevsky ' Any literature snob must be familiar with a little Russian literature, and Nabokov is too well rooted in pop-culture and Tolstoy is too damn long. This tale of theft, murder and remorse is fantastic and not too difficult to conquer, but still set aside a few weeks.

Oliver Twist ' Charles Dickens ' If at all so you can say learn to say things like 'Allo Guvna'!' and 'Shine ya' shoes, Guv?'

Gravity's Rainbow ' Thomas Pynchon ' The definition of post-modern. This encyclopaedic beast is a tough read with hundreds of characters and thousands of clever allusions and tangental sub-plots, but worth it if only for the Un Perm au Casino Hermann Goering episode. Great for accumulating cultural capital.

Henderson the Rain King ' Saul Bellow ' Henderson, unhappy with his life, and feeling sick 'not physically, but mentally', leaves his wife and children behind in America and embarks on an expedition to Africa where he inexplicably climbs the ranks of the native Wariri tribe. If you enjoy accounts of frogs being blown up, this book is for you.

And 10 Books That You May Actually Enjoy

Bonfire of the Vanities ' Tom Wolfe _ Don't bother watching the movie (we're serious, DO NOT watch the movie). This tale of Sherman McCoy, the Wall Street 'Master of the Universe' is a cracking satire of 1980's New York. For a taste of Wolfe's non-fiction, try his excellent The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test.

On The Road ' Jack Kerouac ' The book that defined the Beat Generation. Marvel as Sal Paradise and Dean Moriarty tear back and forth across America on an erratic quest to find some purpose and contentment in their lives without wreaking too much havoc on those around them.

Night Shift ' Stephen King ' Not exactly what some would consider 'high art', but what do they know? This collection of short stories from the horror master certainly has plenty of memorable chills and artery leaks ' 'Children of the Corn', 'The Mangler' and 'The Man Who Loved Flowers' to name a few. But some of his tales not devoted to horror of any kind _ 'The Last Rung on the Ladder', and 'The Woman in the Room' in particular _ will pleasantly surprise you.

One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest ' Ken Kesey' Randall Patrick McMurphy, sent to a mental hospital, finds head nurse Mildred Ratched is more dangerous than the other patients he's confined with. For fans of the Boston Celtics basketball team, there's an added bonus: you can find out where future Hall of Fame center Robert 'The Chief' Parish's nickname originated.

The Hobbit ' J.R.R Tolkien _ Yes, perhaps lately we've had more than enough of hobbits, elves, dragons and the like, but this precursor to The Lord of the Rings is a welcome adventure into the realm of fantasy for both children and adults.

My Uncle Oswald ' Roald Dahl ' Anything by Dahl is brilliant, even his books for kids like The Twits. I guarantee that you will read this in its entirety in just one sitting. The infectious premise of this tale is only surpassed by The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar.

A Farewell to Arms ' Ernest Hemingway ' Could easily fit into the snob list, but we actually enjoyed reading this. Not recommended for anyone in love and planning to start a family soon.

The Loaded Dog ' Henry Lawson ' Not to be mistaken with The Cud columnist of the same name. A ripping yarn of Australian bush life written by the guy on the old $10 note with the well'muscled face and impressive moustache.

Moby Dick ' Herman Melville ' This epic adventure will captivate anyone interested in things trivial. It will also inspire even the staunchest Greenie that there is room for at least one whaling expedition in a lifetime.

Born to Win ' John Bertrand ' We had to finish with an uplifting, non-fiction tome, but didn't want to admit to enjoying Losing my Virginity, Sex, Drugs & Mum In The Front Row would have been too unashamedly self'serving (ahem...), and Kitchen Confidential has been celebrated enough. Forget the self'help books, this story of how Australia won the America's Cup from the Yanks is bound to inspire.

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